Two mornings ago at about 2am my almost 4 year old, Jaxon, crawled into bed next to me.  Jaxon shows up most early mornings next to me but on this night he must have been spooked or not feeling well.  I heard a whisper in my ear, “Daddy, I want you to hold my hand.”  I put my hand near him, he grabbed it an held it close to his chest.  Actually he held my hand tight with both of his hands.  And if I moved, he quickly pulled it closer to him.  This happened 3 more times in the next 2 hours.  I was touched and my heart was full of love and gratitude.  But, I also laid there realizing the depth of what I signed up for as his father.  

Without truly earning it yet I am this little guys shield.  His blanket.  His protection from real and fake monsters. I represent safety to him.  I give him allowance (no, not money).  His teacher.  I am his Dad. I know what my father meant to me but I am not sure I am in touch yet with the fact that my two sons see me through a similar lens.  I knew I signed up to provide for them.  To entertain and love them.  To change diapers and to clean up after them.  But, I need to work on fully understanding that I am much more than that to them.  And, in those hours that my son held my hand to his chest, the gravity of what I signed up for was truly felt.  It scares me, but I am honored.  I am a father and so much goes into that.  Much of it I have not encountered yet but I do know that if I am in touch with the depths of what it means to be a Dad, I will be a better one.

In life are you in touch with what it means to be a parent?  A best friend?  A little league coach?  A spouse?  Are you able to adjust the view on your lens as I need to?

In leadership….

I often find myself coaching leaders and attempting to make them realize what they signed up for in assuming a leadership role.  Of course the corner office, bigger paycheck, and “more responsibility” sounded sexy.  But did they realize that many sets of eyes are now on them looking for guidance, inspiration, and affirmation?  They may not have realized that so much of there job is now not doing, but guiding.  Great leaders realize these things and their egos embrace that it is no longer about them but about the people they lead.  They realize that a joke or feedback, if presented wrong, could result in an employee not sleeping for many nights.  They realize their full opportunity to help someone’s career and self esteem.  They realize the weight of their position , just as I did, when my son clinched my hand.

Of course the deeper questions involve our actions following getting in touch with what we signed up for but for now please just pause and think about the above.

Finally, I did not know what I signed up for writing this blog. It was uncharted territory for me. I didn’t know that it would feel so heavy.  I didn’t know my words would elicit emotional responses.  I didn’t know the amount of effort it would take to stay consistent in writing. I surely didn’t anticipate the extreme vulnerability I feel every time I post.  And, I didn’t know I would get unsolicited feedback.  But, I did.  Here are a few things that have been offered up to me…

~ My blogs are too long and too much to take in at once.

~ I need to ask my readers what they would want me to write about now that they have a taste of me.

~ I need to ask people to share my blog.

~ I need to restate why I wrote the blog post at the end of the post.

All this feedback is valid and I am thankful for these people giving me the Gift of Truth.  I am going to listen to their advice.  Thus, the shorter message above.

In closing, please think about the varying roles you play in your life and if you are truly living up to them.  This exercise really made me aware that I am more that a figure head to my sons.  It made me realize that I am Dad to them and if I am to become half of what my father was to me then I need to fully embrace the physical and emotional parts of this role…completely.  And, I am not sure I have.

Please be so kind to share this blog and encourage others to read and sign up.  Much more than when I started this 8 months ago, I realize what I signed up for and am committed to making it more then what it is today.  I will need your help in sharing it and sending me ideas to write about.  What would you want me to write about given what you have read in past posts?  Please reply on the blog site and let me know.

Stay True,

Ted