Most of us, if not all of us have said we are “too busy” at some point. Or, say it all the time. We are too busy to get something done. Too busy to call someone. Too busy to get to the gym. Too busy to settle in and do something for ourselves…God forbid that!
In many cases, I have found that “busy” is used in a way that signifies importance, value, or otherwise. As if telling someone we are busy signals to them that we are living a life worth living. Think about this. Better yet, in the next day pay attention to how you answer when someone asks you how you are doing. Right, the answer I often get is “busy”. Interesting enough, the question is really asking for a feeling (and “busy” surely is not one) but that could be a completely different post.
I bring this up because I have noticed it in myself and how it relates to this blog. It has been 5 months to the day that I have posted on this blog. I have gotten many people asking me if I gave up blogging. Some have said they have missed my posts and asked when another one was coming out. And then there is my wife that asks me weekly when I am going to post. My answer, “I am too busy”.
BULL SHIT! Yep, calling bull shit on myself. The fact is I have made choices. Choices that have led me to not post in a long time. I could have absolutely found time to write about something and post it. But, I didn’t. I was not owning my choices. The fact is, on many days I do have time to blog but I choose more often than not to spend that time with my family. But, I am not too busy.
I think there is a lesson in this for us. Perhaps we should be more ready to speak our truth and own it. Stop simply saying you are too busy and start saying what is really happening. This simple pause and reflection could change what happens next.
Examples I have heard lately…
~ I am too busy to have that hard conversation with a co-worker. Truth: I don’t want to have that conversation.
~ I am too busy to get to the gym. Truth: I don’t feel like getting up early.
~ I am too busy to reach out to my brother. Truth: You haven’t made it a priority and don’t have the relationship with him that you desire.
~ I have too much going on to get together with my friend. Truth: You are choosing to spend your time otherwise and feel like she is not happy with you.
The question then becomes, will we regret our choices? Or, will we accept the ramifications of the choices we make. This one is something that we should start to pause and think about. Like not taking time to workout. I am sure if you had a heart attack and the doctor linked it to you being out of shape, you would surely regret that decision (yes, I picked the low hanging fruit). In my case, I have been saying I am too busy to have a follow up with my GI doctor. Bet if I end up in the hospital again I will regret that decision. You get my drift.
If we slow down and discover that we will actually regret something, it is time to create some change.
For me and this blog, the truth is it would be hard for me to say that I will regret choosing to spend time with my family. But, there is a level of regret in not posting more frequently. And yes, if a ramification is that my blog dies, I will regret that. I started this for a reason and have not exactly stayed true to it. So, after calling bull shit on myself I reflected about my choice and was honest with myself. I do have time and should make more time. My gut is telling me so.
As in most cases, I actually have time to do both…blog and spend ample time with my family. It all started with me owning my choices and slowing down to think about the all too frequently said “I am too busy” and what the ramifications could be.
Are you saying this? If yes, are you being truthful with yourself and the ones you are saying it to. There is undoubtedly an opportunity for some self discovery here. Self discovery that could turn into some truth, possibly some connection, or needed action to better your life.
Catch yourself next time you are going to say it and then speak your truth, reflect, and redirect your actions and priorities to create a more meaningful, fulfilled, healthy and connected life.
I am doing this and do believe it will drive me to post more frequently…among others things. Join me.
Oh, and by the way, I am not saying life isn’t busy…not at all…it is…but please don’t take that out as I have been doing when reflecting about the above.
Now, let me get back to my busy life. Ha!
Stay True,
Ted
Hi, Mr. Capshaw, thank you for sharing your insights and advice!
Ted,
Great post – I very much agree with everything stated. I often would say I was too busy for things that were important to me only to find out that the daily and weekly tasks that were filling up my life were actually very unimportant.
I took time and thought about the motivations behind why I spend my time doing these things, whether it was ambition, ego or a desire to be recognized. I wore my “too busy” badge with pride and made sure I let everyone know that I was busier than they were.
Then I considered what I wanted out of life, what my overarching goals were and whether the decisions I was making were lining up with them. And in almost every circumstance, they weren’t.
So while I wholeheartedly agree with your post, I think if some were in the position I was in this time last year, they may no be able to understand why they are making the wrong choices. Taking a step back and examining each decision through the lens of my personal mission helped my realized I wasn’t seeing the “forest from the trees” so to speak.
Just my two cents. I hope you don’t let us down and keep these post coming more regularly!
Your Two cents are worth far more than that, Chris. I love how you brought in aligning the personal mission to help direct our choices…perfect. Glad to see you on here and contributing…put a stamp on my message man!
Hi Ted,
For me, this is a matter of language precision. Our friend, Rae Brent, says, “discipline your dialogue,” meaning the words that come out of our mouths. Make sure they are saying exactly what we wish to say, no more and no less.
I agree, it’s a matter of owning our choices. And, the ‘busy’ thing is definitely like some sort of status symbol (I’ve done it!) … it reminds me of a question you posed to us at Bootcamp: “Can you disappoint another to be true to yourself?” I think when we are true to ourselves, including the words we say to ourselves, we rarely do wrong by others.
Joyce