Sometimes It’s Not So Black and White

REPOSTED FROM MAY 2015…Sadly even more relevant a year later.

And, sometimes it is.

I had said that I was unsure how the topics of this blog would unfold.  I surely did not think I would be writing about race this soon into starting this platform.  Baltimore is my hometown and I feel compelled to touch on the controversial topic because of that.  Well, to be a little more transparent, it is a topic that has affected my life and my being in profound ways so without a doubt this will not be the last time you hear from me about it.  And, I think, so much of it is in fact BLACK vs WHITE. Continue reading “Sometimes It’s Not So Black and White”

An Hour a Day Keeps the HR Director Away


Remember my post Crazy Busy…Create T.I.M.E?  If not, go back in the archives and read it.  Today I want to simply add an “R” to this acronym. The “R” stands for relationships.  So now we have T.I.M.E.R..  I am convinced if you don’t understand these baselines of leadership that your timer is clicking in your current position.  And, the HR director could be paying you a visit in the next 6-12 months!  If not the HR director, than you will simply continue to be a marginal leader with people saying some of the below about you.  Right, read on…truths to come.

Continue reading “An Hour a Day Keeps the HR Director Away”


The Orlando shooting is officially the worst mass shooting in our history.  Fifty lives lost and hundreds, if not thousands, of lives dramatically changed forever…some perhaps even lost.  How do we wrap our minds and hearts around such an event?  I am not sure I have the answer.  I am not sure anyone does.

In December of last year I posted “Terror!  Feeling Helpless.  We are Not!”.  In that post I noted that these types of happenings were taking place in our own backyards by random people. That terrorism was not limited to radicals, but here we are facing the truths around these radicalized terrors.  How sad that I am back on just 6 months later addressing the same issue.

What do we do with this?  I hear people saying we will stand strong and not lose.  We already lost.  Lives were lost.  Innocence was lost.  Our sense of security as a country has been marginalized.  For those that lost loved ones, a piece of them is forever lost.

I could go on a rant here as I am sure many of you could.  I won’t.  But I do want to point out that this seemed to be directed at the gay community.  And, this saddens me.  Why do these types of prejudices still exist?  I simply ask that you pause and reflect on any and all of the prejudices you have and try to come to terms with them.  Fact is, most, if not all, of us have some.

If you want to do anything to help, be more accepting and look deeper into the people you may hold prejudices for.  As we can see plastered on the TV, this community loves and grieves like everyone else.

As I said in December, we are not helpless.  We all have an opportunity to do something, no matter how small, to contribute to making our country a better place, our communities safer or making people feel more accepted.  If you want a reminder go back and read that post from December.  No end all, be all answers, but some things to think about and act on…today.

I can only assume that you feel as I do.  Numb.  Sad.  Vulnerable.  Yearning for understanding of what has been happening around us in the last few years.

As I write this I search for words.  I am coming up short.  This blog, this platform, was created with the thought that it would provoke thinking and allowance for people to get to a higher place before tragedy.  Well, tragedy has hit again.  What will you do with it today?

If you feel compelled, please share your thoughts, no matter how varied they are, about all of this.

Prayers and healing energy in route to Orlando.

Stay True,


All Hail the Queen! And, Her First Born Son.

“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets as a MichaelANGELo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry.  He should sweep streets so well that all the  hosts of heaven and earth will pause and say, “Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”

~ Martin Luther King Jr.

This quote has many times reminded me to do the best I can at whatever I was doing.  Today it reminds me of the Queen of the Capshaw house, my wife and mother of my sons, Angel (note the bold ANGEL above :))

Just five short years ago my wife had built an amazing career in retail.  She was a store manager at Victoria’s Secret.  And, she was the best!  Loved by her customers and her employees and extremely dedicated and passionate.

Just under five years ago we got pregnant with our first child and throughout the entire pregnancy she swore to me she was going back to work and would not have it any other way.

When Jaxon was born, she went back to work.

Under two months in, at dinner, with tears rolling down her face, she asked me if it would be ok if she stayed home with our son.  I was floored but perhaps not completely surprised as I had witnessed this incredible bond between her and Jaxon from day one. Continue reading “All Hail the Queen! And, Her First Born Son.”

Intention? Accident? The Answer Should Make a Difference

It was the summer of 1989.  I was a waiter at a popular restaurant in Baltimore, Pargos.  My parents had recently bought a new Nissan Sentra to help shuttle around five kids and to get to work themselves. I was lucky enough to be able to use it to drive myself to work on that day.

I was on a two lane back road only about a mile from Pargos.  For some reason, I don’t remember why, I took my eyes off the road…


I slammed into the back of a car that was stopped waiting to make a left hand turn.  That car was pushed into oncoming traffic and another car went up on the curb. I sat there completely stunned staring at the hood of our Sentra that was pushed up to the windshield.

When my parents arrived on the scene I crumbled at the sight of them.  I was scared.  I had crashed their car.  I screwed up big time.  I remember my Mom and Dad simply trying to comfort me.

Later that day I was still devastated and feeling extremely guilty.  I went to my Dad and told him how sorry I was.  I will never forget his response.  He said, “Ted, did you mean to do it?  No, you didn’t.  That is why they call it an ACCIDENT.” Continue reading “Intention? Accident? The Answer Should Make a Difference”

Real Men DO Cry…

…Even in front of their kids.

I recently had to take a trip to Ireland for business.  Now, I am a guy that hates leaving his family on a daily basis. I miss them.  I worry about them.  I often find myself wishing I didn’t have to work, but feeling grateful that I can provide and that my clients believe enough in me to do the important work.  Any Dad that loves their family the way I do, understands the balancing act and all the thoughts that go with it.

When I have to leave for 1 or 2 nights for a domestic business trip it pains me.  But, leaving for an international trip is gut wrenching.  I cry, my wife cries, and my boys beg me to stay home and say “no planes Daddy.”  I balled like a baby walking out of my house on my way to Ireland…and half way to the airport. Continue reading “Real Men DO Cry…”


A five year old is in critical condition after a hit and run.

My client had a 20 yr old intern.  He attended his funeral this past week.  He was hit by a car.

Another Maryland police officer is dead after a senseless act of crime.

A longtime family friend’s wife, 37 years old, just underwent emergency surgery, and found out she was riddled with cancer.

These are real scenarios that I have heard about in the last 48 hours.  I am sure you could add to this list of similar scenarios…as could I. Continue reading “Today?”

What’s Your Leadership Methodology?

I was recently in a meeting and someone asked me, “What is your leadership methodology?”   Honestly, I thought to myself, “Huh?”  But instead I asked, “what do you mean by methodology?  You mean what do I think makes a good leader?  How do I coach a potential leader?”  I got, “you know what I mean.”  Well, actually I didn’t, but I did get a moment of clarity.  I don’t have a singular methodology when working with individuals or businesses on leadership nor will I ever.  Why?  Simple and well known.  Every individual and business is different. Furthermore, I have yet to come up with a new methodology that surpasses the fundamentals of human engagement.  In my blog post Crazy Busy? Create T.I.M.E, I outlined the core of my beliefs on leadership but thought I would elaborate on what I think makes a good leader.   Could you call it a methadology?  I suppose if you wanted to sound like an expert of sorts or claim that you or I came up with it. Both of which would rarely be true.  The reality is it’s mostly known, unfortunately not widely practiced.  Easy read….in bullet form.

Continue reading “What’s Your Leadership Methodology?”

A Timely Thumbs Up

I would get a few feet from the car in the 5th grade, turn around, and my Dad would be giving me a thumbs up.  In high school, before my football, basketball or baseball game would start, I would find my Dad in the stands, lock eyes and he would give me a thumbs up…I returned it and was ready to play.  I remember vividly walking down the ramp at the airport in Philadelphia, turning around and Dad would still be standing there giving me a thumbs up.  And even when he was dying and his body starting to wither from cancer, when I would leave his bedside, he would give me a thumbs up.  Damn it.  The tears rolling down my face as I write this scream how badly I could use a thumbs up about now. Continue reading “A Timely Thumbs Up”

New Year, New You? Could be…

We are 1 month into 2016.  And, as usual, this first month of the year flew by.  And, as usual, many people either made news year’s resolutions or at least thought about things they would like to change in the upcoming year.  And, as usual, many of us have already failed, lost sight of what we wanted to achieve, or are not doing what is necessary to really create the desired change.  One thing I know for sure is that when we were thinking of the positive changes we were going to make, we were optimistic.  But now, perhaps a little pessimism has seeped in.  So, I wanted to pause at the one month mark and touch on this…on the practical and emotional levels. Continue reading “New Year, New You? Could be…”