12 Things You Can Do to Begin the Healing After this Disgusting Campaign

It would serve no purpose for me to post about the unrest, fear, or disappointment I feel about the results of this election.  It would serve no purpose to give my opinion about our now President.  What is done is now in the history books.  But, where do “We the People” go form here?  And yes I mean all of us on both sides of this wall.  Not the wall that Trump wishes to build. The wall that existed in this nation before this disgusting campaign started.  The wall that got new mortar and a facelift due to the platform this campaign gave it.

My neighbor had a Trump sign up in his yard since the beginning of this campaign.  I never once said anything about it or engaged him in a debate.  Did I have feelings about it?  Sure did.  I am a black man, married to a woman, with two bi-racial sons.  My business is focused on helping leaders and people evolve and build meaningful relationships with people not like themselves.  Not a Trump fan.

Some may ask why would I not engage.  This is why.  Because I was, and still am more concerned with the man that he is.  Is he a good father?  Is he a good husband?  Does he work hard to provide for his family?  Does he treat my kids with kindness?  Does he treat my wife with respect?  Does he engage me as a dignified man?  The answer to all of these questions is yes.

Our Country, our neighborhoods and our individual homes have been marginalized by this campaign.  I would go so far as to say that the truth of our segregated society was put on blast.  And, it makes my heart heavy.

I am not good with uncertainity.  I don’t know many people that truly are.  We are in uncertain times.  Fact is, we would be in uncertain times no matter who won the race.

Soon the signs will come down, ugly commercials on the television will stop today, debates about who should win are now done, and the uncertainty of not knowing who will be our president exists no more.

This post is not about the uncertainties of our economy or our international relations.  Not that I am not concerned about issues such as these, just that I can have no impact on them. Trump and our elected officials can and will.

This post is about what we can to do to begin to heal from these past months.  Too much sleep has been lost, too many hatred laced words exchanged, too many races, belief systems, genders…just people like me and you, marginalized.

My Lord, I wish I knew the number of people that “de-friended” people on Facebook over this.  Now, that is a whole other ball of wax…the power we give Facebook and the deeper meaning we give “de-friend”, but it actually is a great example of the affect.

What can we do within our control?  And yes, I am unapoligetically “fluffy”.

1. Respect people and their opinions.  Yet, do not stand for disrespect….I’d have plenty to say to my neighbor if the answer were “no” to any of the above questions.

2. Understand what empathy is and be more emphatic to everyone…on both sides of the “wall”.

3. Do you part by “treating people as you would want to be treated” no matter who they voted for.

4. Give those that discriminate against you, for whatever reason, no reason to validate their misconceptions of who you are.  Meaning…be a good, integral, non judge mental human being and don’t fight ignorance with ignorance of your own.

5. If you have kids, don’t cloud there minds with your opinions of what has happened but fill their minds with what it means to embrace change.  And, embrace change yourself.

6. Do good work and therefore contribute to this economy by providing value everyday you show up to work.

7. Find a cause and give back.  Help homelessness by finding a local shelter and volunteering or donating.  Fight cancer, discrimination, or any other thing hurting our society and get involved.  Mentor someone who is searching for a job.  The list is long….get off the sidelines and jump in.

8. If you don’t like the outcome start working on accepting the outcome and redirect your energy.

9. If you did like the outcome, deflate your chest and don’t be pompous.  Your president elect has a mountain to climb to unify this country and it starts with you.

10.  If you didn’t vote yet are bitching about the outcome…zip it!

11. Write your delegates.  These people need to hear your voice yet having spoken to several in the past, they rarely hear from me and you.  Don’t write a “bitch letter”, but one with valuable ideas on ways to improve your community.

11.  LOOK INWARDS and not outwards and hold yourself accountable to be the change you want to see in the world but start with your own home and community.  It’s crazy just how much each one of us has room to improve and have an impact.

12. And finally, for all of you that actually “de-friended” people on Facebook.  Reconnect and recognize that if you accepted them as a friend there was a reason for that.  A simple step towards unifying our broken land.  Crazy that I am even including this but again, perfect example of how sad this got.

Do yourself a favor today listen one of my favorite songs, “Happy Ending” by Sugarland and simply just be with it.

And if you don’t think any of the above will make a difference, I ask that you simply try.

Lastly, thank you, President Obama and family.  Thank you for being a respected leader, for being an integral and decent man, and for giving us your best.  We are in fact better because of you.

Stay True,








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  1. Good words Brother.
    This is a slap in the face to everything our family stands for. I’m struggling for words for my Hispanic daughters and white son. I deeply want my girls to know this is not acceptable and my little man to know this is not ok and never treat women (or anyone) the way our president elect has.

    I understand what you were saying about focusing on the person and not their vote. We all weren’t as blessed to be raised by Fred and Eileen where diversity was praised and not shunned.

    Nevertheless, my faith in people has been shattered. I don’t tend to stay down too long, but I am going to need a little time to move forward from this. When I do, I will read your words again, gather strength from our family and self, and move forward to fight for our values together.
    Love you brother,

  2. Ted,
    I spent this whole morning trying to make sense of what just happened. Then I spent the afternoon trying to find out how I can move my family to Canada! Upon discovering the Canadian Immigration website has crashed, I remembered that this is as much our country as it is anyone else’s and this is not the time to run away. I was in need a positive word so I came to your blog and as always you deliver timely, lucid, encouraging words. Personally, I’m reminded that we should be empathetic to everyone as well as embrace change.

    I appreciate you brother!

    1. Kenny! Don’t leave bro…we need you here…a stellar, integral, level headed, decent man. I miss you. Please reach out and let’s chat and get together.

    1. I love you too brother, and if this man recommends a song it is a must hear…I will tune in.

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